I listened.
I listened to my inner voice.
It’s calling—
The inaudible screams for help.
Pounding.
Pounding like knocks into closed doors and walls.
Pounding of the heart.
A weird feeling in my guts.
So I listened.
It came like blurred whispers.
Shady blue smoke of foreign language.
So I listened.
The feeling turned into thoughts;
And the thoughts turned into realization.
I have chosen peace,
To run away from others’ chaos
And to depart when the dragging and pulling
Begins to bring me closer to their chaos.
I have chosen happiness,
To be grateful of what I have
And to continue to dream.
I have chosen freedom,
To free myself up from expectations
That strangled my soul.
I chose to be alive when my decay
Becomes their circus.

Like an heirloom seed:
I will grow not for the sweetness but for the zing and tang,
I will grow not for the plump fruits but for the new fruits,
And I will grow not for a single lifetime and no more,
But in succession of generations,
In springs after the winters,
Year after year.

This is my battle that I choose to win—
Not to destroy them,
Nor to prove something,
But because I need what I need
And because self-care is not a sin.

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13 thoughts on “Self-care Is Not a Sin

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