As I went down, pain after pain, I realized that life has been teaching me all along.
Not about who’s good or bad, or who’s to blame.
Maybe life isn’t about winning fights and punishing the wrongdoers.
Maybe life itself is to just live free from what burdens us.
The insecurities I have rooted from my childhood, having people I thought would nurture me destroy me and watching people I trust betray me.
As I grow up, I have made walls around me, not to protect me, but watch those who constantly prove their worth to go inside my inner circle.
I have learned to listen to my instincts to whom I would allow myself to be surrounded with.
Friendships don’t begin when someone starts talking with me, it goes beyond those verbal garbage.
There are always subtle cues about those who aren’t real to what their motives are, it may come from how they wear their clothes or hair, the way the look into you, or by their word choice and the way they give stresses to phrases and words.
I no longer have trouble distancing from those who are constant liars or are manipulative people, but what’s difficult is with those who lived inside my circle.
For someone who have learned to know the subtle cues of inconsistences by what is presented and what’s behind the mask, it can be insulting to watch them act like they believe their lies are truth and they are right.
The pain isn’t about the lies and betrayal, but of the disgust I have for these kinds of people who have made it a habit.
But then I realized that I have no control of others, and letting them be who they are had freed me from the pain that limits me.
It doesn’t need to be understood, but just to leave it as it is, that’s what I have learned.
Having less expectations of the people that surrounds me, relieves me from the burden of the inconsistences of my expectations, of what they claims to be, and of their actions.
Allowing them to be who they are and to let them make mistakes, not to rebuke when they are wrong or to hold them when they want to go, gives freedom to both.
Hearing them out and letting them be free, but not to point of destroying me and my thoughts, gives peace.
Let good people take a part of your thoughts, but whoever isn’t, must not be allowed to enter and should be left to blossom outside – in the garden of fools.
Photo by Diego PH on Unsplash
© 2019 Onie Maniego and The Paper Drafts