Art and writing became the outlet when emotions overwhelm me.
I find myself pouring myself into creativity and exhaustion, transforming thoughts into concrete symbols and patterns through art and poetry.
When my mind is drowned in thoughts, I no longer have an urge to speak, not because of anger but of the lack of words to say.
It’s the stimuli of the emotion that bother me than the emotion itself.
Emotion for me can be understood but it’s the stimuli that is difficult to comprehend.
I observe the behaviors and the motives of people that it pains me that they think that I can’t know.
I may be silent but it doesn’t mean I can’t think. I may be stubborn but it doesn’t mean that I’m stupid.
I keep asking myself why and it triggers the emotion to build up, then I realize that I’m already sad and/or angry.
It’s the pattern that hurts me, the repeat of things that I dislike but is difficult to accept why it’s done.
About a year ago, my colleague gave me a piece of advice, “Things will keep happening until you learner your lesson.”
And I kept thinking about that until I had a grasp of its context.
Sometimes, life is like a video game, before you advance to the next level, you must complete the goal, otherwise it will keep restarting until you learn why you failed the level.
It’s in us to decide to adjust or confront, as we blindly reconcile with our insecurities and fears.
But as we choose to think maturely, to reconcile our differences, it’s always best to communicate, find a common ground, and compromise.
Pineapples in the Sky
Watercolor on Paper
© 2018 Onie Maniego and The Paper Drafts